i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
