Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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