I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize