Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Someone came in the potted fern
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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