After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
