never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
