3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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