Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize