i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
