ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
