just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
