Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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