Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i would punch a child for taco bell
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize