does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
