so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
