who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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