Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
