Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
