it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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