I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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