i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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