like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize