We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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