I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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