Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
