just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
