Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
