The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
either way he was missing a nipple.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
