You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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