actually, I'm a sock model
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
