I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
