New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
