and she was petting her beer can
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
