My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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