But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize