why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
