Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize