Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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