ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My life is pants optional.
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