I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there was a trapeze. enough said
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize