Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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