'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
