Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have fence marks all over my body
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
