i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
