So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
