there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
im on a boat
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