I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
