we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
