I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
