You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
NoShamevember. You game?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
