I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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