I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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