And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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