oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize