Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
