Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
