Just cropdusted the office
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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