Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
