Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
