You're so nebulous sometimes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
